Okay folks, every woman out there who has given birth is entitled to her 15 minutes of mommy fame, yes, that's right, her war story. Here is mine.
You already knew that I was in labor for Saturday, yes the entire day. I woke up on Sunday, Mother's Day, a whole new day to find out that yes, my labor was progressing however I still had a while to go. At 3am I was 8 cm and since I was scheduled for an induction the doctor decided to still give me the pitocin anyway to speed this up. I was very relaxed because of my wonder drug and was fine with all the activity around me. Hubby decided to wake from his slumber to complain that the window seat he slept on was uncomfortable and the pillow was hard. Oh, I'm sorry, let me run to the gift shop and buy you a sympathy card, that must have been hard for you.
At 8:30 am my nurse (fabulous lady) told me that it is time to start pushing. The moment we've been waiting for is here and Baby M is moments away. So, I did what I normally do when I am about to face an exciting yet nerve racking time. I asked everyone to leave the room so I could have a few moments to myself to think. I even told Hubby to get something to drink since it could be awhile. Everyone agreed and gave me some time alone. What no one knew is that when I do this I am usually plotting, plotting an escape or a way to make this easier for myself. Hubby finally arrived with a bagel and large coffee, what the hell is this, a Bagel Buffet run on a Sunday morning, I'm in freaking labor and you have some cream cheese on your cheek! The nurse kept checking in on me asking if I was ready and I kept saying "no, I need a few more minutes". Hubby finally asked what I was waiting for and I decided since he is my husband I would let him in on my little secret. I thought if I held out long enough that this child wouldn't be able to wait for my pushes and would just walk right out of me. Well, fat chance, looks like I was expected to push on my own. I started pushing and after 15 minutes asked the nurse how long this usually takes. I've heard plenty of other war stories from women saying they only gave 2 pushes or pushed for a short time. Ummmm, can I get one of those Olympic timing judges to stand her for a time count? The nurse informed me that a first time Mom could push for an average of 1 - 1 1/2 hours. I didn't have that much in me.
I lost count after awhile but around 2 hours of pushing my mom called to my room to see if I wanted her to come upstairs. I thought that I didn't want anyone to be with me and Hubby in the delivery room since it was going to be a moment for us to witness my child's birth, that and the fact that I am extremely modest and didn't want anyone to see anything. Hubby said he was fine if my Mom came into the room, probably because I was starting to scare him with my vulgar language and he needed back up. I kept thinking if anyone can help a girl out and offer support you can come in, no one is allowed to stand around and watch, you would have to work. I was moving along, my contractions were about 30 seconds to a minute apart. Everyone was counting and I shhhh'd everyone since no one could count together, they were all confusing the hell out of me. Will this day ever end?
Finally my doctor came in and said that I still had some time left. Are you joking, I am 2 hours into this. I've never done anything physical for 2 hours. To fast forward a bit, after 3 hours of pushing, some vacuuming, my doctor gave me an episiotomy. Apparently Baby M decided to flip to his/her side and the head was stuck. I thought this child would fall right out of me but fat chance! My doctor said, "No good, we have to give you a c-section". I shot right up and said "after doing everything you learned in med school you are giving me a c-section". I was happy that this would soon be over and I could meet my little one but for the love of god when will this end? I was prepped for my section and was whisked away only to have a nurse tell me "don't worry honey, you can have a natural birth the next time". The next time? What the hell is wrong with you. I can't get this one out and you have me pregnant again signed up for natural. I informed her that if I ever decided to do this again I would only go in for a scheduled c-section, I'm not that stupid to try this again. Sweet lord, they all must be out of their minds.
Off to the operating room............Did I mention that it is Mother's Day?
No comments:
Post a Comment